What is the Enneagram?

A comprehensive map for self-development (2/5)

We need to do something like what religion used to do. We need a comprehensive set of psychotechnologies that are set within communities and practices that allow for the comprehensive transformations of consciousness, cognition, character, and culture, in a way that is analogous to religion. - John Vervaeke, Ep. 39— Awakening from the Meaning Crisis —The Religion of No Religion [56:46]

While I don't claim that the Enneagram is a religion or intend for it to supplant existing religious or spiritual frameworks, I do believe it constitutes a psychotechnology aligned with what John Vervaeke suggests, which makes it worthy of exploration. Before we embark on our journey, however, I want to emphasize that it's impossible to fully capture the entirety of who we are through language that describes frameworks of Being. As Martha Graham so beautifully points out:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.”

Nevertheless, tools like the Enneagram can serve as guides to provide us with maps for personal growth and development. In this spirit, I am sharing my observations in this series.

Coping with Separation

Separation is inherently painful. Just ask anyone who has been separated from a loved one. Typically, we experience separation emotionally in our hearts, followed by a cascade of thoughts in our minds, sensations in our bodies, and consequently behaviors that are observable. The initial "shock" of birth, which marks our original separation from our mothers, sets in motion our primary coping mechanism for dealing with our aloneness.

Upon closer examination of our behaviors, we may notice a tendency to favor certain aspects of ourselves while trying to suppress others. This internal "pushing and pulling" creates a distinct vibe and we all possess one. Some psychologists refer to this vibe or habitual way of relating as identity or the “once and for all” solution to coping with our early physical and emotional care-taking environment, which was limited and imperfect.

What I find particularly intriguing about the Enneagram is its ability to assist us in identifying our unique coping mechanism or way of relating to the world. However, I want to stress that the purpose of discovering our personality style or “type” is not simply to provide a better description of ourselves, but to facilitate a transformation in how we relate to both ourselves and the world around us. This transformation enables us to live more authentically as the individuals we are meant to be, which has the potential of empowering us to fulfill our unique role in an ever-evolving whole.

The Lens of Personality

As I explain in “Losing My Religion,”

“We all carry frames that help us make sense of the world. Without them, we would be so overwhelmed as to be rendered incapacitated by the enormous amount of stimuli coming in through our five senses. The initial frame is our personality, which is comprised of our inborn temperament interacting with our early physical and social environment to create a habitual way of viewing and interacting with the world.”

Although we integrate other mental frames into our personalities over time through experiences like the people we hang out with, the places we frequent, and the things (bio-psycho-social) we absorb, our personality consists of two basic components: content and structure.

Content refers to the distinctive traits of personality that can be described. It's what we're primarily aware of because it's evident and observable. For instance, being tense or relaxed, optimistic or pessimistic, action-oriented or thinking-oriented.

Structure, on the other hand, is what causes the content to manifest in its particular way. Each personality has its method of focusing on events, typically unconscious but acting as the mediating factor in determining what is significant to us in any given moment or situation.

The Beauty of Presence

If you've ever observed a two-year-old trying to accomplish something, you'll notice the determination by which they approach the task. There's a distinct tenacity in the developing psyche as identity takes shape, which strives to protect its independence while also longing to be understood.

As separation is both challenging and essential for functioning effectively in life, we often feel the need to safeguard ourselves at all costs. Our need for self-protection is driven by a desire to ensure our safety. Consequently, overcoming personality traits on our own is almost impossible. Instead, we require something else, and this is where being receptive to the Law of Three becomes crucial. A detailed explanation of the Law of Three can be found in my article by the same name:

“It roughly states that for every initiating force, there is a denying force, which together requires a third force, the reconciling force, to be resolved. This simple, yet complicated, phenomenon is thought to be embedded in the Trinity. While this concept is far from new, it was re-introduced into our collective awareness by Gurdjieff in the early 20th century and then again, more recently, by Cynthia Bourgeault and Russ Hudson in their work with The Fourth Way.”

Hence, the power of the Enneagram lies in its encouragement of aligning ourselves with a third force: Presence.

Pure Awareness transcends the "Me" or ego, which is the accumulation of one's psychological content and the structures that generate it. Moving beyond the ego leads to the state of "I" or pure awareness. Awareness is considered formless because it lacks content and structure. It's also referred to as "Presence" — the presence to oneself, without which nothing else can be present

The Wisdom inherent in the Enneagram

Each Enneagram point corresponds to a way of actualizing a basic desire while avoiding a basic fear which corresponds to a strategy for doing so. Though our self-protection strategy seemed to offer us the best hope for survival early on in life, its solution is limited because it is based on the assumption that we can only be happy once our basic demand is met. However, this rarely happens in life.

Frustration sets in and we are, in essence, postponing our happiness when, in fact, true happiness can only be met when we accept “what is”. Only then can we transcend our characteristic strategy and allow our authentic self to emerge. The Enneagram offers direction finders for our liberation. By bringing awareness or Presence to our coping strategy, through practices like the awareness continuum, meditation or focusing, it automatically begins the process of thinning it out. This process has been called the “Paradoxical Nature of Change.”

As Gestalt therapist, Arnold Besser, explains:

“Change occurs when one becomes what they are, not when one tries to become what they are not. Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change them, but it does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what they are - to be fully invested in their current positions.”

In my next article I will outline the nine general ways we can do this. In the meantime, if you are interested in discovering your personality “type,” that is, your strategy for coping with separation from unity, consider taking the RHETI. It was designed by Russ Hudson and his teaching partner, Don Riso, and has a 85% validity which is pretty good as far as personality inventories go. Once you receive your results, explore the descriptions of your top three scores to settle on the one that most closely describes your way of being.

One final note:

No one can define who you are because only you truly understand from where your experiences arise. However, what I can share is this: when you discover your particular relational style, you will feel a sense of having "come home," and this feeling is reliable and trustworthy.